i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
