How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize