So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
