When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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