Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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