She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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