it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
