This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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