Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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