i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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