Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
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