Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
