It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Even my vagina gasped.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
