nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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