My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
