Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
