Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You ate ashes out of my bong
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
