u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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