No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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