Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
