I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
