Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
