sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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