yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Randomize
