With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize