Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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