Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
