did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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