from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
