1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
