I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
