Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
