Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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