Do vagina's smell?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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