im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
