I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
