I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
