It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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