I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
it was like eating out sand paper
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I am naked and annoyed.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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