you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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