So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
