i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
