Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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