my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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