im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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