You were right. It hurts to walk today.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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