How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
