Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
