Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
