I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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