; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Are we in a gay sports bar?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
