He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
