tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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