JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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