Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
