Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
