I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
