Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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