lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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