Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I think I am morally bankrupt
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
bring money and cleavage
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
