the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
