dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
